Journal Entry: Sun Jun 1, 2014, 4:48 PM
This is something I've been thinking about for a while...
This is a note about idols. A lot of people have idols, I think that's a fairly common thing, and has been for a long time. It's nothing new. What is new, of course, is the accessibility of those idols, and, somewhere along the line, this is where a certain problem has occurred.
See. The problem with idols, actually stems from the name itself. 'Idol' is meant to be reserved for something divine, something to be worshipped, something, in itself, perfect.
Somehow, the 'modern age' (which encompasses a long time, in truth), has hijacked that term, and used it to mean something different.
Because, of course, those we now call 'idols', are not divine. They are, in fact, human. And, we all know. Humans are flawed. Or... Not even that always. We're just fucking complicated.
Once upon a not so long ago, those 'flaws' and 'complications' were not so easy to see, so the perfect image was able to be maintained. However, with advances in technology, and advances in social media, these people (and remember that word people ) we look up to and idolise have gotten closer to us, and we are able to see them, albeit though a sometimes slightly distorted light.
I am not condemning the internet, nor am I wishing for the lack of social media, in fact I am grateful for both of these things, for various reasons.
I am simply saying...
Perhaps people should think more wisely these days about taking on 'idols'.
Ask yourself, are you truly ready to idolise someone?
Personally, I've been doing this a long time, since I can remember in fact, and I have struggled along the way with people I felt had 'let me down', especially as the internet slowly began to make things easier to discover.
Eventually I learnt, they don't let you down, you let them down, by not allowing them to be anything other than the narrow, confining 'perfect' version of themselves you have created.
I make no secret about who I idolise, and I use that word understanding the gravity it holds. Yes, I idolise Gerard Way, to the point that sometimes I forget the simple things I have learnt. I will admit to forgetting he is human, and he can and will do things I am not expecting (please note, I'm not addressing anything in particular here, this is just a general statement). But, perhaps that is my own human flaws showing there, forgetting these things.
However, I do accept everything that comes with him. I accept he might do things I don't like, things that shock me, possibly even upset me. But, in an odd kind of way... I trust him not to do it too often. Forgive me if I sound too 'out there' now, but I believe there is a reason I was drawn to him in the first place, and for that reason I know many things we believe in tally up together. And, for the times I've disagreed with something he has said/done, there have been so many more things that have made me glad to be a fan of his, has made me proud, even.
And, anyway, I've said before, I don't want him perfect. Perfect is boring, you can't relate to 'perfect'. Give me a human, give me someone giving their all, failing and stumbling occasionally, but carrying on anyway.
That's my idol.
And it's funny, because he even addressed this, in a song he stated was for the fans. He gets scared of it, even though he has no need to. He knows he shouldn't apologise, but he does it anyway.
In Ambulance, there's the line
"And if I ever let you down..."
This is to everyone. Even if you don't think of someone or call them an idol, there is usually someone.
Remember, if you ever feel let down by them, don't.
They're just proving they're human. They're like you.
Isn't it more worth looking up to someone real anyway?